Beyond Bubble baths: What self-care really looks like
When you hear the term self-care, what comes to mind? For many people, it’s bubble baths, scented candles, face masks, or a cosy cup of tea in a quiet corner. While these moments can be calming and restorative, true self-care runs far deeper than any external ritual. It’s not just about what feels good in the moment – it’s about creating a life that feels sustainable, meaningful, and authentic.
The Limitations of “Treat Yourself” Culture
Social media is full of curated self-care images: candles flickering beside a bathtub, luxurious skincare routines, or an indulgent takeaway. These small pleasures can indeed bring comfort, but they risk reducing self-care to something you buy, rather than something you do to honour your needs.
Real self-care is often unglamorous. It can be uncomfortable. It’s about the choices and boundaries you make daily to protect your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.
Here are three powerful self-care strategies that go beyond the bubble bath:
1. Setting Boundaries
Self-care is often about what you don’t do. It’s the ability to recognise when you’re overstretched and to act before burnout hits. Setting boundaries can look like:
At work: Saying no to taking on extra responsibilities when your plate is already full, or blocking out time in your diary for focused work without interruptions.
At home: Asking family members to share household tasks rather than carrying the mental load alone.
Socially: Declining plans when your body and mind need rest, even if you feel guilty at first.
Boundaries are not about pushing people away. They’re about creating clarity so that relationships remain respectful and sustainable. They also protect your energy, leaving you with more capacity to be present and engaged with the people and activities you care about.
2. Managing Technology Use
Phones and laptops keep us connected, entertained, and informed, but they can also drain us. Mindful technology use is an essential form of self-care in today’s world. This might involve:
Creating digital boundaries: No screens for the first or last hour of your day to allow your mind to wake up or wind down calmly.
Reducing information overload: Unsubscribing from emails or social media accounts that leave you feeling anxious, inadequate, or overwhelmed.
Intentional connection: Asking yourself, “Is this helping me feel connected or disconnected?” before picking up your phone to scroll.
Technology itself isn’t the problem – it’s how we use it. By managing your screen time intentionally, you protect your nervous system from overstimulation and reclaim space for reflection, creativity, and rest.
3. Asking for Help
Perhaps the most overlooked form of self-care is asking for help. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that needing support is a weakness. In reality, it is a profound act of self-awareness and courage. This might look like:
Emotional support: Sharing your worries with a trusted friend rather than bottling them up.
Practical help: Asking colleagues to share responsibilities on a busy project, or family members to assist with errands or childcare.
Professional support: Seeking counselling when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or stuck in unhelpful patterns.
It can be hard to admit when we’re not coping, especially if you’re used to being “the strong one” for others. But none of us were designed to live in isolation. Asking for help builds connection, relieves pressure, and reminds us we are not alone.
What Does Real Self-Care Look Like For You?
Self-care isn’t always glamorous or Instagram-worthy. Often, it’s the quiet, intentional choices that honour your needs. It’s:
Going to bed on time, even when there’s a temptation to scroll late into the night.
Cooking a simple, nourishing meal rather than skipping food when you’re busy.
Moving your body gently when you’re feeling sluggish.
Saying “no” when something isn’t right for you – and saying “yes” when something aligns with your values.
Speaking kindly to yourself, especially when you feel you’ve fallen short.
Self-care is unique to each person. It’s about tuning in and asking yourself: “What do I really need today to feel grounded, supported, and myself?”
Beyond Bubble Baths
Bubble baths and candles can be a beautiful part of self-care, but they’re not the whole story. True self-care is about creating a life that nurtures you from the inside out – a life built on boundaries, presence, connection, and self-compassion.
If you’re ready to explore what self-care looks like for you beyond the surface level, counselling can offer a safe space to reflect, identify your needs, and make sustainable changes.
✨ You deserve self-care that goes deeper than bubbles – self-care that helps you build the life you want to live.
