Nurturing Yourself When Motivation Is Low
There are times in the year — and in our lives — when motivation feels distant.
Not dramatically gone. Not replaced with crisis.
Just… quiet. Flat. Heavy.
In these moments, many of us respond by trying to push harder. We tell ourselves we should be doing more, trying more, being more productive. We tighten our expectations and hope momentum will return.
But often, what is needed is something much gentler.
Not effort.
Not discipline.
But nurture.
As a person-centred counsellor, I often sit with people in this space. The space where nothing feels wrong enough to name, yet everything feels harder than it should. And what becomes clear, time and time again, is that progress is not what restores us here.
Being tended to does.
The challenge of low motivation
Low motivation can feel uncomfortable because it challenges the way we measure our worth. If we are not achieving, producing, or moving forward, we can begin to question ourselves.
You might notice:
a critical voice telling you to “get on with it”
guilt when you rest
frustration that you can’t seem to find your usual energy
comparing yourself to how you “normally” are
This is where the real work lies. Not in forcing motivation back, but in having the courage to respond differently.
The courage to soften.
The courage to reach out
When motivation is low, we often withdraw. We tell ourselves we should manage on our own. That it’s not a big enough issue to share. That others are busier, dealing with more important things.
And yet, this is often when reaching out is most needed.
A message to a friend.
A conversation with a colleague.
A session with a counsellor.
A walk with someone who knows you well.
There is real courage in saying, “I’m finding things a bit heavy at the moment.”
And there is something deeply nurturing in the generosity of others — their time, their listening, their shared knowledge, their quiet presence. Allowing someone to sit alongside you without trying to fix you can be profoundly restoring.
We are not meant to carry everything alone.
Tending to yourself without needing progress
Nurture asks nothing from you. It does not require an outcome.
It might look like:
sitting with a warm drink and no agenda
stepping outside for a short, slow walk
clearing a small space in your home so your eyes can rest
going to bed earlier without explanation
wrapping yourself in a blanket and allowing stillness
doing something simply because it feels soothing
These things can feel insignificant, especially when your mind is telling you that you should be doing something more useful.
But this is the work.
This is the tending.
Gentle reflection
You might like to pause with these questions:
Where do you go — physically or emotionally — when you need to escape?
When did you last allow yourself to rest without earning it?
What helps you feel held rather than hurried?
What are you currently pushing that might need softening?
Notice what comes up without judgement. There is no right answer here, only information.
Allowing yourself to be supported
For those in helping roles — counsellors, carers, professionals, parents — this can feel particularly unfamiliar. You are used to being the one who offers steadiness to others.
But nurture also means allowing yourself to receive.
Receiving time.
Receiving care.
Receiving understanding.
Receiving the generosity of others who are willing to share their presence and knowledge with you.
Sometimes, the most courageous thing we can do when motivation is low is to stop trying to fix ourselves and instead let ourselves be held for a while.
Because often, when we feel nurtured, motivation returns quietly on its own.
Not because we forced it.
But because we allowed ourselves to be tended to first.
