When August Doesn’t Feel Like a Holiday

There is something slightly strange about August.

It is supposed to be summer.

The month of holidays, sunshine, longer evenings and hopefully a bit of time to breathe.

But sometimes August doesn't feel relaxing at all.

Sometimes it feels like you're trying to keep ten plates spinning while someone keeps moving the sticks.

Work is still happening, but your usual team isn't.

The children are around more.

Childcare arrangements change.

Your normal routines disappear.

People are coming and going.

You might be trying to work from home while someone is asking what there is for lunch.

You might be trying to get everything finished before going away.

Or you might not be going anywhere at all, while watching everyone else seemingly have the perfect summer.

And underneath it all can be a quiet pressure:

I should be enjoying this.

The August juggle

For many women, August means becoming even more of a logistics manager.

Who is looking after the children?

Who is working?

Who is on holiday?

What needs buying?

What needs booking?

Who needs picking up?

Which days can I actually work?

What happens if my colleague isn't back?

When can I fit everything in?

And because you are probably very good at organising, remembering, anticipating and making things happen, you just get on with it.

Until you realise you're exhausted.

Not necessarily because anything terrible has happened.

Just because you haven't stopped.

Then there is work…

August can be particularly frustrating when you're trying to keep things moving professionally.

You may have deadlines that don't disappear just because it's summer.

You might be covering for people who are away.

You may be waiting for decisions because the person who needs to make them is on holiday.

Perhaps your manager is away and you're not sure who you can ask.

Or maybe you're the person everyone comes to because you're reliable.

And there's a trap here.

Being reliable can quietly turn into being the person who picks everything up.

You say:

“It's fine, I'll do it.”

“Don't worry, I'll sort it.”

“I'll just get this finished.”

“It's easier if I do it myself.”

And each individual decision seems small.

But eventually you look at your workload and wonder how you ended up carrying so much.

The pressure to make the most of summer

There can be another kind of pressure in August too.

The pressure to enjoy yourself.

Social media can make it look as though everyone is having barbecues, travelling, spending time with family, getting outside and making wonderful memories.

Meanwhile, perhaps you're tired.

Perhaps money is tighter than you'd like.

Perhaps your family holiday wasn't quite the relaxing experience you imagined.

Perhaps you're working.

Perhaps you're dealing with family dynamics that aren't always easy.

Perhaps you simply don't feel like being cheerful all the time.

And then you can add another layer of guilt:

“What's wrong with me? I should be enjoying this.”

Nothing is wrong with you.

You are allowed to find things difficult even when they are supposed to be enjoyable.

Two things can be true at the same time.

You can love your family and need a break from them.

You can enjoy your holiday and find parts of it stressful.

You can be grateful for your job and be exhausted by it.

You can love summer and wish your normal routine would come back.

What if we stopped expecting August to be perfect?

Maybe this is the month to lower the bar slightly.

Not because you are failing.

Because life is different.

Maybe dinner doesn't have to be complicated.

Maybe the house doesn't need to be immaculate.

Maybe the children don't need an activity planned every day.

Maybe work doesn't need you to compensate for every person who is away.

Maybe you don't need to say yes to every invitation.

Maybe your holiday doesn't need to be Instagram-worthy.

Maybe good enough really is good enough.

Try asking yourself a different question

Rather than:

“How am I going to fit everything in?”

Try:

“What actually needs to happen?”

There is a difference.

One question assumes everything has to be managed.

The other allows you to decide what matters.

You could even divide your list into three simple categories:

Must happen

The things that genuinely cannot wait.

Could happen

The things that would be useful but don't need to happen immediately.

Doesn't need to happen

The things you've somehow convinced yourself are essential but really aren't.

And be honest with yourself.

You might discover that some of the pressure is coming from your own expectations, rather than anyone actually asking you to do all of it.

And perhaps notice the resentment

This is one I think we don't talk about enough.

Sometimes overwhelm doesn't look like panic.

Sometimes it looks like resentment.

“Why am I always the one who remembers?”

“Why does everyone assume I'll sort it?”

“Why can't anyone else just do something without asking me?”

“Why am I responsible for everybody?”

If those thoughts are appearing more often, don't immediately tell yourself you're being unreasonable.

They might be telling you something.

Perhaps you're doing too much.

Perhaps you've become the default organiser.

Perhaps you've been saying yes when you mean no.

Perhaps other people have become accustomed to you making everything work.

And perhaps it's time to have a conversation.

August doesn't have to be productive

Maybe we could give ourselves permission to have a month that is simply… messy.

Some productive days.

Some lazy days.

Some lovely days.

Some difficult ones.

Some days where everyone gets on brilliantly.

And some where you wonder why you ever thought going on holiday together was a good idea!

That's life.

You don't need to make every day count.

You don't need to come out of August having achieved something impressive.

You don't need to return to September feeling completely refreshed and transformed.

Perhaps you just need to get through August without abandoning yourself in the process.

So as the month unfolds, notice the moments when you hear yourself saying:

“I have to…”

“I should…”

“Everyone needs me to…”

“It's easier if I…”

And pause.

Ask:

“Do I really?”

That tiny pause might be where something begins to change.

And if August is bringing up more than you expected — exhaustion, frustration, resentment, anxiety or simply the feeling that you're constantly holding everything together — you don't have to dismiss it because “it's only August.”

Sometimes the difficult months show us things that the busy routine allows us to ignore.

And sometimes noticing is the beginning of doing something differently.

You are allowed to make August easier.

Julie x

Julie Shehata-Morgan is a qualified counsellor and clinical supervisor supporting women through workplace stress, difficult situations at work, overwhelm, self-doubt and periods of change.

If you'd like to explore whether counselling could help, you can find out more and arrange a free 15-minute chat at www.jsmcounselling.com.