Notice the Story You're Telling Yourself
"Maybe I should have handled that differently."
"What if they're right?"
"Perhaps I don't know as much as I thought I did."
If any of those thoughts feel familiar, you're not alone.
One of the things I notice most often when working with women experiencing difficult situations at work is that they don't just question the situation—they begin questioning themselves.
A difficult colleague.
An investigation.
A manager who rarely offers encouragement.
A workplace culture where you're constantly second-guessing your decisions.
Over time, something begins to happen.
Your inner voice changes.
When Doubt Becomes a Habit
Most of us aren't born doubting ourselves.
Often, it's something we learn.
Perhaps you grew up feeling you had to work harder to prove yourself.
Maybe your opinions weren't always listened to.
Perhaps you've experienced criticism that stayed with you far longer than the person who said it ever realised.
These experiences quietly shape the way we speak to ourselves.
Eventually, self-doubt can become so familiar that it feels like fact rather than habit.
But What Does the Evidence Say?
This is something I gently explore with many of my clients.
When they tell me they're "not good enough", I often notice something interesting.
The evidence says something very different.
Years of experience.
Qualifications they've worked incredibly hard to achieve.
Projects they've successfully led.
People they've supported.
Problems they've solved.
Challenges they've overcome.
Yet somehow, one difficult conversation can outweigh years of evidence.
One critical email can become louder than countless words of appreciation.
One setback can make us forget everything we've achieved.
Notice Which Voice You're Listening To
This month's theme is Notice.
So today, I'd like to invite you to notice something very simple.
When you make a mistake, whose voice do you hear?
Is it your own?
Or does it sound familiar?
Sometimes our inner critic isn't really ours at all.
It's an old voice we've carried for years.
A teacher.
A parent.
A former manager.
A workplace that made us believe we constantly had to prove ourselves.
Recognising that can be incredibly freeing.
Because if the voice was learned…
It can also be challenged.
Trust Your Voice, Even When It Wobbles
Confidence isn't the absence of doubt.
It's choosing not to let doubt make every decision.
There will be days when you wobble.
Days when you replay conversations.
Days when you wonder whether you're capable.
Those moments don't erase your experience.
They don't erase your knowledge.
They don't erase the person you've worked hard to become.
Perhaps the invitation isn't to silence your inner critic altogether.
Perhaps it's to give your wiser, kinder voice a little more space.
The voice that remembers your strengths.
The voice that notices the evidence.
The voice that says:
"I've handled difficult situations before."
"I don't have to be perfect to be capable."
"It's okay to trust myself."
A Grounding Technique: Name the Evidence
When self-doubt starts to spiral, pause for a moment.
Take a slow breath and ask yourself:
What have I done well today?
What challenge have I overcome before?
What evidence tells me I am capable?
If a friend described themselves this way, what would I say to them?
Sometimes the goal isn't to stop the self-doubt immediately.
It's simply to make space for another voice to be heard.
Journaling Prompt
Take ten quiet minutes and write without overthinking.
What evidence have I overlooked because I've been listening to self-doubt instead?
You may discover achievements you've forgotten, strengths you've dismissed or moments where you've shown far more courage than you've ever given yourself credit for.
A Gentle Reminder
You are allowed to have moments of uncertainty.
You are allowed to feel nervous before difficult conversations.
You are allowed to wobble.
But those moments don't define you.
Your qualifications, your experience, your resilience and your compassion matter too.
Perhaps this week, rather than asking,
"What if I'm not enough?"
Try asking,
"What if I've been enough all along?"
You Don't Have to Untangle This Alone
If difficult experiences at work have left you questioning yourself, counselling can offer a calm, supportive space to explore where those beliefs have come from and begin rebuilding trust in your own voice.
I offer a free 15-minute introductory call where we can talk about what's been happening and whether counselling feels like the right next step for you.
This week, my invitation is simple.
Notice the story you're telling yourself… and gently ask whether it's really the whole story.
