Notice What Work Is Costing You
"I can cope."
It's something I hear often.
Many women are incredibly capable. They keep going. They meet deadlines, support colleagues, care for their families and somehow continue putting one foot in front of the other, even when work feels incredibly difficult.
But coping and thriving are not the same thing.
One of the biggest things I notice when working with women experiencing difficult situations at work is how slowly work begins to spread into every area of life. It rarely happens overnight.
At first, it's replying to one email after dinner.
Then it's checking your phone before bed.
You replay conversations in your mind while making dinner.
You wake at three in the morning thinking about tomorrow's meeting.
You stop enjoying Sunday because Monday is already sitting heavily on your shoulders.
Without realising it, work has quietly moved into spaces where it doesn't belong.
The Hidden Cost
Workplace anxiety isn't only measured by how you feel between nine and five.
It can show up as:
Feeling emotionally exhausted before the day has begun.
Finding yourself distracted when spending time with family or friends.
Losing interest in hobbies that once brought you joy.
Snapping at the people you love because your emotional reserves are running low.
Struggling to sleep because your mind won't switch off.
Constantly questioning yourself after conversations with colleagues or managers.
Feeling guilty whenever you take time for yourself.
Over time, these things begin to feel normal.
You adapt.
You tell yourself you'll feel better when the project finishes, the investigation ends or the difficult colleague moves on.
Sometimes that happens.
Often it doesn't.
What Are You Missing?
This month, my theme is Notice.
Last week I shared how anxiety often begins quietly.
This week I'd like to invite you to notice something different.
What has work stopped you doing?
Perhaps you've stopped reading before bed.
Maybe you haven't met friends for weeks because you're too tired.
Perhaps your walking boots are gathering dust, your sketchbook hasn't been opened or you've realised you can't remember the last time you laughed until your stomach hurt.
Sometimes it's these small losses that tell us the biggest story.
They remind us that work has become more than simply a place we go.
It has become something we're carrying.
A Gentle Reminder
Feeling anxious because of work doesn't mean you're weak.
It doesn't mean you're failing.
And it certainly doesn't mean you should simply "get on with it."
Our minds and bodies are remarkably good at telling us when something isn't quite right.
The question is...
Are we listening?
Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
When your thoughts are racing or you feel overwhelmed after a difficult conversation, this simple exercise can help bring you back to the present moment.
Pause wherever you are and gently notice:
5 things you can see.
4 things you can feel.
3 things you can hear.
2 things you can smell.
1 thing you can taste.
Take your time.
There's no rush.
The aim isn't to make anxiety disappear completely.
It's simply to remind your nervous system that, in this moment, you are safe.
Journaling Prompt
Find a quiet moment this week and ask yourself:
If work wasn't taking up so much space in my mind, what would I have more room for?
You might notice:
More laughter.
More patience.
Better sleep.
Time with people you love.
Creativity.
Rest.
Hope.
Notice whatever comes up with kindness rather than judgement.
You Don't Have to Carry It Alone
If work has begun following you home in your thoughts, your sleep or your relationships, you don't have to carry it by yourself.
Counselling offers a calm, confidential space where you can unpack what's happening, make sense of your experiences and begin reconnecting with the parts of yourself that may have been overshadowed by stress.
I offer a free 15-minute introductory call, giving you the opportunity to ask questions, tell me a little about what's been happening and see whether the support I offer feels right for you.
This week, my invitation is simple.
Notice what work is costing you.
Because once we notice, we can begin to make space for something different.
Julie Shehata-Morgan is a fully qualified therapist and clinical supervisor specialising in supporting women through workplace challenges, including self-doubt, burnout, investigations, and organisational change. She provides a safe space to explore difficulties, strengthen resilience, and support positive mental wellbeing.
