When Everyone Else Is Away, Why Does It All Land on You?

August can be a strange time at work.

The office may feel quieter.

Your inbox might be a little less frantic.

But somehow your workload hasn't disappeared.

In fact, it may have increased.

Someone is on holiday.

Someone else is off with the children.

Your manager is away.

A colleague has left a list of things for you to pick up.

And before you know it, you're quietly becoming the person who is keeping everything moving.

You tell yourself:

“It's only for a few weeks.”

“I'll manage.”

“Someone has to do it.”

“It will be easier if I just get it done.”

And perhaps the most dangerous one:

“I don't mind.”

Except perhaps you do.

When being capable becomes a problem

Being reliable is a wonderful quality.

You're organised.

You get things done.

People know they can depend on you.

You're probably the person who remembers the details, spots what's been missed and steps in when something needs sorting.

But there can be a point where being helpful quietly becomes over-functioning.

You start doing things because you know they'll otherwise be missed.

You answer questions that other people could probably work out themselves.

You take on another task because you don't want to let the team down.

You stay late because it's easier than explaining why something can't be done.

And gradually, other people's responsibilities become your responsibilities.

Not because anyone necessarily asked you to take them on.

But because you did.

“But if I don't do it, who will?”

This is one of the questions I hear behind a lot of workplace overwhelm.

And sometimes the answer is genuinely:

Someone else needs to.

That doesn't mean you aren't caring.

It doesn't mean you're letting people down.

It doesn't mean you're not a team player.

It means that a team cannot function sustainably if one person continually absorbs everything that isn't being done elsewhere.

Work-related stress can be influenced by things such as excessive responsibilities, workload and difficult situations at work. Recognising those pressures early is important rather than simply trying to become better at tolerating them.

The August trap

August can make this particularly difficult because there is an obvious reason for the extra pressure.

People are away.

So you might feel that you can't complain.

You might think:

“Of course I'm doing more. It's August.”

And perhaps temporarily, some extra work is reasonable.

But temporary doesn't have to mean unlimited.

And covering someone's absence doesn't mean you have to silently absorb an impossible workload.

There is a difference between:

“I'm happy to help while they're away.”

and

“I'll make sure everything gets done, whatever it takes.”

The first has a boundary.

The second doesn't.

What are you saying yes to?

This week, notice how often you automatically say yes.

Perhaps:

“Can you just...?”

“Would you mind...?”

“Could you pick this up?”

“Can you cover this?”

“Can you do this before Friday?”

And notice what happens inside you.

Do you genuinely want to say yes?

Or do you feel:

• guilty saying no

• worried they'll think you're difficult

• afraid of disappointing someone

• responsible for keeping everything running

• concerned that saying no will affect how you're perceived

Sometimes the problem isn't the workload itself.

It's the belief that you have to be the person who manages it all.

Try replacing an automatic “yes”

You don't have to become someone who says no to everything.

Instead, create a little space between the request and your answer.

Try:

“Let me check what I already have on.”

Or:

“I can help with that, but I'll need to move X to next week.”

Or:

“I don't have capacity to take that on at the moment. Which task would you like me to prioritise?”

Or simply:

“I'll need to look at my workload before I can commit to that.”

These aren't difficult or confrontational statements.

They're conversations about capacity.

And they're often much healthier than quietly agreeing and then feeling resentful later.

Your workload is a conversation, not a personal failure

If you're struggling to keep up, it can be tempting to assume the problem is you.

Perhaps you're not organised enough.

Perhaps you're not working quickly enough.

Perhaps everyone else seems to cope.

Perhaps you just need to be more efficient.

But sometimes the answer isn't another productivity technique.

Sometimes there is simply too much work for one person.

Mind recommends discussing stressful workloads with a manager and agreeing realistic targets, while also recognising the importance of breaks and maintaining a boundary between work and personal life.

And current CIPD guidance similarly highlights workload management and early intervention as important parts of addressing work-related stress.

That means asking for help isn't a sign that you're failing.

It can be a sensible response to an unrealistic situation.

The “capacity check”

Before you say yes to something this week, try these three questions:

1. Do I actually have the capacity?

Not:

“Can I squeeze it in?”

But:

“Do I genuinely have the time and energy to do this well?”

2. What will have to move?

If you take this on, what doesn't get done?

Every new task has a cost.

Sometimes we forget that.

3. Is this actually my responsibility?

This might be the most important question of all.

Just because you can do something doesn't automatically mean it is yours to do.

And what about the guilt?

This is where boundaries can feel uncomfortable.

You might know logically that you have too much on.

You might know you should say no.

But then comes the guilt.

“They'll think I'm unhelpful.”

“I should be able to manage.”

“Everyone else is busy too.”

“It won't take long.”

Remember:

Feeling guilty doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong.

Sometimes guilt is simply what happens when you do something differently from your usual pattern.

If you're used to saying yes, saying “I don't have capacity” might feel uncomfortable.

That doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to say.

It might simply mean you're learning a new boundary.

You don't have to carry August for everyone

Maybe this August can be an opportunity to notice where you've become the person who quietly picks everything up.

Not to become less caring.

Not to stop helping people.

Not to become difficult.

But to become more aware of where your responsibility ends and someone else's begins.

Because you deserve to leave work with something left for yourself.

Your evening doesn't need to be the recovery period from everything you couldn't cope with during the day.

And your holiday doesn't need to be spent recovering from work.

So before you automatically say:

“Yes, I'll do it.”

Try pausing.

Take a breath.

Look at your workload.

And ask:

“If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?”

That one question might tell you more than you expect.

And perhaps the bigger question is:

“Why do I feel responsible for making everything work?”

That's worth exploring.

Because sometimes the workload is only part of the story.

Sometimes there is something underneath it — perfectionism, people-pleasing, fear of being judged, difficulty with boundaries or a belief that your value comes from being the person everyone can rely on.

And that's where having space to talk can really help.

You don't have to work it all out on your own.

You can be capable, caring and committed without carrying everything.

Julie

Julie Shehata-Morgan is a qualified counsellor and clinical supervisor supporting women through workplace stress, difficult situations at work, overwhelm, self-doubt and periods of change.

If this feels familiar and you'd like to explore whether counselling could help, visit www.jsmcounselling.com to find out more or arrange a free 15-minute chat.