September Isn’t Always a Fresh Start: When Getting Back to Routine Feels Overwhelming
What if the thing you need this September isn't a fresh start — but a little more understanding of yourself?
September often arrives with the message:
New term. New routine. Fresh start. Time to get organised.
But perhaps you're not feeling ready.
Maybe you're tired rather than refreshed. Your head already feels full, and the thought of returning to work, managing your diary, remembering everything and keeping everyone else happy feels overwhelming.
And you're wondering:
"Why does something that seems so easy for everyone else feel so difficult for me?"
Getting back into routine takes energy
We often think of routine as something helpful — and it can be.
But getting back into a routine is also a transition.
Work gets busier. Children return to school. Diaries fill up. Expectations increase. Your slower summer rhythm disappears almost overnight.
For autistic people, changes to routine can be particularly difficult and may contribute to anxiety. The National Autistic Society also highlights how sensory and social demands can add to feelings of stress and overwhelm.
For women with ADHD, returning to routines can bring challenges around planning, organisation, time management and getting started. ADHD can also be harder to recognise in women, particularly when symptoms are less obvious.
So perhaps instead of asking:
"Why can't I get myself organised?"
try asking:
"What is making this transition difficult for me?"
The woman who looks like she's coping
You can look as though you're managing everything beautifully.
You go to work.
You answer the emails.
You remember the appointments.
You support everyone else.
You keep going.
Then you get home and have absolutely nothing left.
Sometimes the exhaustion isn't simply about how much you've physically done. It's the invisible work of thinking, anticipating, adapting, remembering, concentrating and trying to get everything right.
For some autistic women, masking can add another layer. Adapting behaviour to fit expectations can be exhausting and stressful.
And when you've spent years being told you're coping, you can become very good at coping — even when you're struggling.
What if you stopped trying to do September "properly"?
Perhaps September doesn't need to be about becoming more organised, productive or successful.
Perhaps it could be about becoming more aware of what you need.
Try asking yourself:
What parts of my routine give me energy?
What parts drain me?
Which transitions do I find hardest?
When do I become overwhelmed?
How much recovery time do I actually need?
Am I saying yes because I want to, or because I feel I should?
These aren't questions about making excuses.
They're questions about self-awareness.
And self-awareness can be the beginning of change.
A small September experiment
Choose one transition that regularly feels difficult.
Perhaps it's work → home, home → work, or moving from one task to another.
Give yourself 10 minutes of breathing space around that transition.
Don't immediately fill it with another task.
Instead, notice what you need.
Quiet?
Movement?
A cup of tea?
Time alone?
A clear plan?
You don't have to copy somebody else's routine.
You can begin creating one that works with you.
And if you're beginning to wonder...
Perhaps you've been reading about autism or ADHD and recognising yourself in things you've never quite understood.
"I'm just disorganised."
"I'm too sensitive."
"I overthink everything."
"I'm fine until I suddenly can't cope."
"Why does everyone else seem to manage this better than me?"
These experiences don't automatically mean you're autistic or have ADHD, but they may be worth exploring.
Counselling can offer a safe space to slow things down, make sense of what you're experiencing and begin to understand yourself without judgement.
You don't need to arrive with a diagnosis.
You can simply arrive with:
"I'm struggling, and I don't really understand why."
And that's enough of a place to start.
This September, perhaps the goal isn't to cope better.
Perhaps it's to understand yourself better.
If this resonates with you, I offer a free 15-minute conversation to talk about what you're looking for and whether counselling with me might be a good fit.
Find out more at www.jsmcounselling.com
Julie
Counsellor & Clinical Supervisor
